A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine’s Day night and sees a beautiful young woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I brought you a drink?” She responds by yelling, at […]
Two bikers were talking at a bar. “How’s married life?” asks the first. “It’s fine,” says the second. “How’s the sex?” asks the first. “Fine,” says the second, “At least I don’t have to wait in line!”
An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong. “I’m scared out of my mind,” the stud replied. “Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he’d kill me if I didn’t stop f**king his […]
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and order a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, ‘Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!’ The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
Three friends were at the bar talking, and after many rounds of beer, one of them suggests that everyone admits something they have never admitted to anyone. “Okay,” says the first, “I’ve never told anybody I’m a gay!” The second confesses, “I’m having an affair with my boss’s wife.” The third, Moishe, begins, “I don’t […]
bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, “This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!” The scared bartender pleads, “Don’t shoot, please! I’ll do as you say!” The robber yells, “Shut up […]
A drunk was sitting in a bar looking at three small brown pellets in his hand. The bartender asked what they were, and the drunk replied “They are brain pills…they make you smart.” The bartender says excitedly, “Give me one.” He snatches one from the drunks hand, and gulps it quickly down with water. In […]
A guy leaves his place at the bar to go have a piss. He comes back about 10 Minutes later, sits down at the bar, muttering and swearing very softly. The barkeeper approaches the customer and asks what the problem is. “Oh some son of a bitch snuck up behind me while I was at […]
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died leaving me $50,000.” “Wow. Two […]
Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache. “I’ve got a beaut cure for a headache,” said his mate Trev. “Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet blowjob. Never fails.” A week went by and they were […]