A professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks them, “How many folk here believe in ghosts?” About 80 students raise their hands. “That’s a good start,” says the professor, “For those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever […]
At a college with a shady reputation, the new dean responded to investigations into the basketball team by suspending any basketball player who wasn’t maintaining a passing average. Furious, the coach came storming into the dean’s office, followed by one of his star players. “You can’t keep him from playing!” the coach roared. “We won’t […]
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the […]
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew […]
A mafioso’s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, “Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new…” He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of […]
A few days after Christmas, my six year son and I were talking. He asked, “Mom, is there a Santa Claus?” “Well, what do you think?” I asked him. He replied, “Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper.” He thought for a […]
Dear Santa, How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business. Actually, I admire the way you run […]
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early”, replied the defendant. “That’s no offense”, said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Before the store opened.”
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid says, “Yeah.” The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to […]
A CEO (and member of Forbes 400!) throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives “I […]