A man goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare – the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and […]
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. […]
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered. “They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them […]
An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are “snowbirds” in Texas. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them and wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?” Bessie looks him over, “Nope.” Frustrated, […]
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she […]
A man returned home earlier than usual. His son met him, very upset, and crying, “Daddy, there’s a monster in your bedroom.” “There’s a what?” “A monster. And he’s hidden in mummy’s wardrobe.” So the man went upstairs, found his wife in bed and opened the wardrobe door. Inside, his oldest friend tried vainly to […]
“Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?” “Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine…”
A little boy asked his father: “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
An older couple wake up in the morning and the husband looks over at the woman and says, ‘Wow! You wouldn’t believe the dream I had…’ And the woman replied, ‘Yes, go on tell me.’ So the husband told her. ‘I had a dream that you left me after 20 years of being married.’ So […]
There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife’s annoyance. “You’ll fart your guts out one of these days,” she always complained. After a particularly bad week the wife decided to […]