Lacerations on the Penis
Mom took little johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis. Doc. said, “How did such a thing happen?” Johnny said, “It’s that damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are too darned sharp.”
How Was I Born
Little Johnny asks: – Daddy, how was I born? – Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at […]
Animal Game
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?” Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a […]
Hide-and-go-seek
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is […]
Goldfish Funeral
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Nancy?” “My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an […]
Ask Jonah
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a […]
The Teacher’s Future
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grownup and say, “There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,” or “That’s Michael. He’s a doctor.” A small voice […]
Nature Abhors a Vacuum
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.” “Yes,” the class said. The teacher asked, “Then why is […]
God is Watching the Apples
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of […]
Just a Minute Please
Little Jimmy was lying on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God. “God? Are you really there?” Jimmy said out loud. To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. “Yes, Jimmy? […]