And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, “You want fries with that?” And Man said, “Super-size them.” And […]
Girl: “I’d like a triple vanilla ice cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream, topped off with a slice of cucumber.” Waiter: “Did I hear you right? Did ou say top it off with a slice of cucumber?” Girl: “Good heavens, you’re right! Forget the cucumber – I’m on a diet.”
By Victor Buono Lord, my soul is ripped with riot Incited by my wicked diet. “We are what we eat,” said a wise old man, Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can. To rise on Judgment Day, it’s plain, With my present weight, I’ll need a crane. So grant me strength that I may […]
Lady to the doctor over the phone, “Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present, and I can’t get into it.” Doctor: “Just come over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescription. Then you will soon be able to […]