A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: “Dig!” He looks around: nobody’s there. “I am having hallucinations”, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: “I said, dig!” So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands, and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a […]
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew […]
A mafioso’s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, “Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new…” He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of […]
A few days after Christmas, my six year son and I were talking. He asked, “Mom, is there a Santa Claus?” “Well, what do you think?” I asked him. He replied, “Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper.” He thought for a […]
Dear Santa, How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business. Actually, I admire the way you run […]
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early”, replied the defendant. “That’s no offense”, said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Before the store opened.”
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” The kid says, “Yeah.” The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to […]